Wedding Anniversary

Its 16yrs tomorrow that I have been married to my wonderful hubby!!!!!! Sometimes it feels like yesterday that we started our lives together but then I remeber that we have a 14 nearly 15yr old and then I feel old and that I have been a mother for ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marriage has been great with its up and downs but maily up!!! i think that we are comfy with each other now and know each other......but there is still a few surprises!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and its definately still exciting.

I LOVE MY MAN :)

More ramblings from 2001

Are you still tempted? We have decided never to go on a diet again we will just change our lifestyle to one of better eating and incorporating exercise and there it is…another get skinny quick potion. I was reading in my local paper just today and these are what those ads are offering. Most of these get skinny quick ‘wonders’ are just that wonders… it makes you wonder why it is so much money…it makes you wonder why so many pills and potions…it makes you wonder how is it is at all possible to lose 10kg in a week…BUT again if honesty is one of the keys lets me be honest I still read all the information and again ‘wonder’ if this could be the ONE. I know in my brain that these get quick schemes don’t really work that we all need exercise but my heart still holds out a little hope that I will be skinny tomorrow. Notice I used the word skinny not healthy, happy, contented, that is because deep down I want to be skinny. It just seems easier that way. Though the ‘skinny’ friends that I have are not healthy they have more health problems than there is of them. It is just another example of how our minds have been programmed wrongly. False programming, skinny = healthy, wonderful life of roses. My new programming it is better to be healthy and enjoying life including food regardless of my size or weight value.

The last two weeks......

DON"T RUN INSIDE........especially after a shower.....cause when you are near your room their isnt as much grip and ........KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am on my backside oh so gracious looking NOT.....with an ankle that looks like it belongs on Star Trek or Alien and lots of PAIN......and I can hear my dad in my head saying why are you always rushing....slow down etc etc etc. I was rushing si I could get out for coffee with a couple of girl friends....well I ended up spending the day at the Docs, the hospital getting an x ray and learning how to use crutches again......I really wanted a broken ankle only for the weekend so I could have a cast to draw on etc etc etc......well I havent a broken ankle (yes I am thankful......) but I have a great bruise up my leg......and I can't run and havent been to the gym ....bummer bummer....then to top it off I have been sick with a rotten cold and cough that sounds like I am a 4 packet a day smoker.....not a good couple of weeks that way but hey I can still breathe and laugh and enjoy life Im not really gripping just haveing a laugh at myself !!!! And to let you all know Im still here :) my hubby thought it was a little funny and me on my cuddly butt is fairly funny !!!! Have a great week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D

Part 3 tmore thoughts from 2001

It happened again those old favorite works … “I’m going to be good today”.
I was out with a couple of friends for coffee and she said it. I am going to be good. Like a little child telling everyone that they will be on their best behavior, knowing full well that children can’t be ‘good’ indefinitely. What is being ‘good’ all about? Its again the programming that has happened to us that makes us classify food in the ‘good’ (usually meaning tasteless, boring food) and the ‘bad’ (everything else) basket.
One major problem with this kind of thinking is that we set ourselves up for failure. Just like I said before it is impossible for children to behave forever it is also not realistic to think we will never eat a yummy piece of chocolate cake again. I do not think that any children are bad, yes they may do things that are bad but the children themselves are usually not bad. (I know there are exceptions to every rule) Likewise there really isn’t any food that is bad, yes there maybe better choices in regards to nutrition but bad, I don’t think so. Lets be honest how do you feel when you are having a coffee for example and there is a chocolate biscuit in the fridge (and yes if you haven’t guessed by now I am a chocaholic.) you think oh no that’s a bad food so I better not have one…. there is now a fight with your good o’ self-control…. you succumb to the temptation but instead of enjoying the food, the flavor, the texture etc. you woof it down and the guilt starts up. “I have no self-control not will-power I am weak I have failed again.” There is no hope I might as well have the another one and another biscuit till the whole packet is gone. Damn it I suppose I can be good tomorrow. (Well we know what happens with tomorrow…. the cycle begins again). Maybe you are better than me you maybe able to be good for a few days but its inevitable you cant be good forever. That’s why I hate the “I’ll be good” attitude its destined for failure which equals guilt. Lets look at it the other way. No food is ‘bad’ back to the coffee and chocolate biscuit. I think I feel like a biscuit there is some the kids haven’t eaten one will do, and off you go. No guilt, no shame, and no feelings of failure. Believe me I hear you saying but I can’t stop at one…well have 2 or3 what I want to get through to you and myself is this huge amount of time we spend in guilt over food. It isn’t worth it. It’s just food. Somehow we need to get that into perspective.

Part -2

Well I finally did it!!! Today was the day wait for it you might have to sit down and prepare yourself…. Ready, relaxed…I made a conscience effort to exercise. I sit here my heartbeat slowing down, the sweat forming on my brow. Was it worth it I ask myself well I have proved that I am unfit!!! Not a total loss but at least not the picture of fitness I tell myself as I look in the mirror. The lies of I’m ok I look all right I am fit and healthy. Though I have to admit that I am not totally unhealthy. My heart rate was 125bpm and now five minutes later it is 84bpm. (Ha tricked you I talked the fitness talk ‘bpm’ and I have no idea what it has to do with my personal level of fitness but it seems to fit in with all the other jargon that I have picked up in my years as a dieter) My ‘gym’ consists of a mountain bike on a trainer and a manual walker both in my lounge room. I did at least 5min, woohoo that is so much but at least I guess I have started somewhere. I dislike the feeling that I ‘have’ to exercise, that I can’t just say ‘hey I feel like a ride or a walk’ without thinking about heart rates, how many calories I must be burning etc. etc. etc. I must be a sponge for diet/exercise jargon. I think this is what frustrates me the most no matter how hard I try I can’t get the word diet and all its buddies out of my head out of my life out of my daily thinking. I’m not sure how I will retrain my consciousness my thought patterns into a non-dieting person into a ‘normal’ person.

Written in 2001- Part 1

Memoirs of a Chronic Dieter (2001)

Deb’s thought’s!!!!!

I have started another ‘diet’ no let me rephrase that I have started a new lifestyle. NO MORE DIETING! The word diet conjures up anxious thoughts of denial, sacrifice, loneliness, pain, feelings of failure, inadequacies, despondency and the list is endless. Anyone who has ‘had’ to diet or has felt that they had to diet has at some point felt one or more of these feelings. Those of us who have been on the bandwagon along time know even more bad feelings, the resultant guilt trips bla bla bla bla. I have felt for along time that I personally can or maybe the word I was feeling at the time was should, be able to loose weight on my own. Well as I sit here writing this I haven’t made my ‘goal’ weight. Again I am off using ‘dieting lingo’ it is nearly inescapable. It seems to be imprinted on my brain such that I fail to think any other way. I know the calorie count of nearly every food its fat content I feel like a computer stuffed with all this information about food and it still hasn’t made a difference to the bottom line of how all this makes me feel. FAT! I think I kid myself into thinking its all-right people accept me for who I am bla bla bla. The truth is it does matter. In our civilized, modern world people do judge you however wrongly on your looks. I remember once after the birth of my third child (I wasn’t as heavy as I am now) and there was a job in the window asking for help as a kitchen hand. I applied and the lady said to me (firstly looking and deciding) that the work was hard involving the scrubbing of pans etc.…. My reply was that I was a mum of 3 kids I knew what hard work was and wasn’t afraid of it. I truly think that she thought that I was going to collapse or have a heart attack…. I was only 25yrs.

past stories/book review

I finally have a few minutes to myself (yes I know I really don't as the washing pile behind me yells out to be folded)but I want to share some notes from when I began writing things down about weight etc. I also want to share chapter by chapter some points of a really great book I read- its not written particulary well but I think that it has some insights into the way we as women have been knocked around because of our various sizes.....now I said that these were my aims so don't hold your breath cause I have a big uni assignmnet due Monday and I have to start it....I am so not someone that ever gets things done a head of time....i do try but it never works out!!!!

To be or not to be?????????????????

Honest that is. Do I be honest and tell you what the scales read yesterday or do I keep myself and everyone else in the dark. Isn’t honesty the best policy???? Well here goes I weighed myself and the scales read 124.2kg…..I tried to giggle around, move my foot kindo off the scales to make that damn number go down but to no avail. Was I disappointed YES…..did it wreck my day….NO….I even went to the gym and had a great workout. I know that I have not been keeping track of what I eat so really what can I expect.

BUT!!!!!! some great news I bought a pair of jeans today and guess what…..they are another size smaller than what am I wearing now!!!!! Go figure…..the scales stink but the size in jeans goes down…..I really can’t complain. I have gone down 3 sizes in jeans I’m a happy chicky babe!!!!!

So my plan of attack for this week is to go to the gym think before I place food into my mouth and wear my new jeans …..and the new top to go with the new jeans J

D

To be or not to be?????

Honest that is. Do I be honest and tell you what the scales read yesterday or do I keep myself and everyone else in the dark. Isn’t honesty the best policy???? Well here goes I weighed myself and the scales read 124.2kg…..I tried to giggle around, move my foot kindo off the scales to make that damn number go down but to no avail. Was I disappointed YES…..did it wreck my day….NO….I even went to the gym and had a great workout. I know that I have not been keeping track of what I eat so really what can I expect.

BUT!!!!!! some great news I bought a pair of jeans today and guess what…..they are another size smaller than what am I wearing now!!!!! Go figure…..the scales stink but the size in jeans goes down…..I really can’t complain. I have gone down 3 sizes in jeans I’m a happy chicky babe!!!!!

So my plan of attack for this week is to go to the gym think before I place food into my mouth and wear my new jeans …..and the new top to go with the new jeans J

D

Its been awhile

Its been a month!!!!!!!!!! I am one slack blogger
I havent weighed myself either so......no idea where I stand in that department.
On the exercise front I am still going to gym 2-3 times a week and squatting 40kg and leg pressing 200kg Im a happy chick!!!!!! I really should do more cardio but blah I can't do prac full time , be a mum to 4 kids and a wife and do university, go the gym and add more cardio it just doesnt all happen. I am happy with 3 times a week!!!!.
Im reading a book at the moment and yes its a about weight issues and plan to do a review of each chapter sooooooo there should be some entries in the next few days :)
Stay true to you and be happy (that sounds kind of corney)

p.s i never realised how much I miss blogging!!!!!!

D

Wednesday Workout

I made it again to the gym at 6.30am this morning!!!!!! I even did some squats- sqats are also known as the king of all exercises....if its done right that is- here is an address of a

http://www.stumptuous.com/weights.html

woman who knows her stuff about weightlifting etc. Krista has pics of the right and the wrong way of doing all kinds of exercises. I recommend it.

And also weight lifting for women doesnt mean that you will look like the hulk!!!!! Unless you want too and remember that muscles burn more fat!!!!!

Lift and be happy

D